literature

Troll Cops: The highb100d

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It was a nice day in Alternia City. Well, nice for everyone who had a place to live. In an alley way, Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara, and Nepeta Leijon were living off the scraps of the food they found in various dumpsters. Karkat was never happy at all. But it wasn't because he couldn't provide for himself. No, he wanted to provide for Nepeta and Gamzee. They couldn't live on their own, as both were way too helpless. And he had to keep finding sopor slime. God forbid Gamzee became sober and flip the fuck out. Everyone was silent, until a mail courier by the name of PM walked into the alleyway.                                                                                                                              
"Is… is there a Gamzee Makara here?" she politely asked.
"YeAh, RiGhT hErE mOtHeRfUcKeR," he replied.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH GAMZEE?" Vantas snapped. Nobody ever wanted anything to do with the likes of them.
"I mean no harm," PM said. "I just have to deliver a message. Gamzee, you come from a very prestigious bloodline."
"wHaT tHe MoThErFuCk DoEs ThAt MeAn?" Gamzee questioned.
"Well, basically. You're rich. You've inherited a mansion right down the street, along with millions of boonbonds." PM explained.
"WHAT." Karkat said with a stupid look on his face.
":33< congratulations Gamzee!" Nepeta shouted.
"ThAt SoUnDs PrEtTy MoThErFuCkiN aWeSoMe. CaN i BrInG mY pAlS?"
"Absolutely!" PM cheered.
PM then began to show them the way to Gamzee's mansion.
Meanwhile at APD's headquarters, Officer Megido took the liberty of bringing in the paper. She walked up to Officer Zahak, who was sitting on the table enjoying some lusus milk- oh whoops he broke the glass- and slammed the paper down on the table.
"did y0u see t0day's paper, 0fficer?" Aradia asked with a smirk on her face.
"D--> No I do not believe I have officer, why do you a%?" The confused officer replied.
Aradia then opened the front page. On the cover, it read, "Local homeless troll inherits mansion due to blood status"
"D--> Oh my," Equius began to sweat. "D--> Makara is a highb100d. I completely forgot. By any chance do you have a-" Equius was interrupted by Office Sollux Captor chucking a towel at his face.
"jegu2… ii 2wear you 2weat far two often." Sollux mumbled.
He then slipped on the puddle of sweat Equius had already let out.
"Excuse me officers!" AR approached them. "Gamzee Makara offered me 20 grand for this place!"
"4ND WH4T D1D YOU SAY?" Officer Terezi Pyrope asked.
"I sold it to him of course! You're all out of jobs!" AR answered.
Everyone gasped, except for office Serket who let out an evil laugh.
"Whoops! I didn't mean to 8e that loud, sorry!" Vriska said.
Meanwhile, Dave Strider approached his home to find none other than a sopor slime factory. A Strider clone from his mafia was standing outside it with a hefty sum of cash.
"do you mind telling me where the fuck my house is?!" Alpha Dave asked.
"that juggalo troll guy offered me 15 grand for the place and I sold it to him. I know that's where our warehouse was and where you lived too but we made money!" the other Dave explained.
"did you at least get our shit out before they fuckin tore the place down?!" Alpha Dave exploded.
"oh shit" the other Dave said.
Elsewhere, Jade Harley was preparing a one person dinner at her house again. She wished she had a boyfriend. John and Rose were going pretty steady, and most people believed something was going on between Officer Captor and the mayor's daughter. She wished she had someone, but it's not like some cute guy will come knocking at your door-
KNOCK KNOCK.
Jade opened the door.
"Dave?" Jade was surprised.
"yeah… uh…. I need a place to stay."
They had clearly forgotten to patrol the town as their superhero alter egos, CrowBro and Space Lass. But Egbertman hadn't forgotten his duty. He was out when he notice huge gang fight going on. The Midnight Crew and The Felt were squaring off, but it appeared that Dave's mafia of clones was also in on it too. Mobster Kingpins crew was also elsewhere heisting a bank. Mindfang's pirates were causing a ruckus at the docks. He couldn't stop all of this crime by himself, and where were the police?! Where were those three other trolls who usually rob pet stores at this time of night?! Most importantly, where were Dave and Jade?



Making out on Jade's couch, apparently.
Troll cops is fun. this'll be a little series I'll update from time to time. basically gamzee inherits a bunch of shit and buys out places to make sopor slime factories. also dave/jade. equius will probably get a main role in this somewhere, but idk where i'll go with it.
This is part 1
also this character shit belongs to hussie
© 2011 - 2024 giggity34
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